10/31/10

October 31, 1996 - Thursday

It's Halloween.  I assume I will receive a package today full of candy from Vernae.  But then again she might be late.  I felt good last night after we (Elder Parks & I) taught, but when we sat down and analyzed it, I just kept seeing things that I needed to work on.  But to [myself] - I said this is what you did wrong. 

It was really hard to hear her [the Russian speaking investigator at TRC].  She spoke fast and in a soft voice.  On feedback she said that I was real sincere and Sister Heaton said she loved me.  It was Брат Wolsey's wife.  Elder Parks had good eye contact - is his feedback.  I can't remember what else.  I didn't mean to say that I did better than him, because I didn't.  He kept good eye contact because he had it more or less memorized and didn't have to read like I did.  I kind of froze up a little, when I taught and I couldn't understand her very good.  But I was trying so hard to understand.

[Mid journal chat - 4 things. 
1) A lot of Russian women talk softly like Брат Wolsey's wife.  Many times I had to ask Russian women to repeat what they had said. 

2)  I did not have this problem with the Бабушкы (Babushkas).  It's amazing, but there were very few middle age women.  It was like there was a magical transformation when a woman hit 40 (looking 30) - boom - they were suddenly 70-year-old Бабушкы.  Which meant that they brushed the dirt courtyard outside with twig brooms, wore handkerchiefs/babushkas on their heads, watched a lot of what was going on, and always told us to put a hat on etc.

3) I had/have a problem with Alpha females sometimes.  There was a lady in my first branch that I couldn't understand - I ran into her again after I had been out about a year on my mission, and I was speaking pretty well - and she flustered me and it was like I had only been out only a month again - I couldn't understand what she was saying.  When I asked her to repeat it - she asked "When I would learn to speak Russian?"  Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!

4) - you know - I can't remember where I was going with this - so that's all.]

Dang it I feel like crap tonight and I don't know why.  I don't want to talk about it with anyone else either.  It might be that I didn't receive a package from anybody with Halloween candy in it.  I also have a crush on Sister Heaton and I don't want too.  It's not a crush I can do anything about until my mission is over, so I won't worry about that.  But this Saturday she will interview me and I don't want to dump my problems on her.  But I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm going to pray tonight.  Maybe if you're good - I'll share what I [prayed]. 

As I prayed, I told the Lord that didn't feel good, and that I wanted to, and that I was promised when I was baptized that would have the Spirit if I was living righteously.  I told the Lord ("told" isn't a good word, prayed and said) that I was trying my best to live good and I needed the Holy Ghost and I instantly felt better.  night.

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