Ст. Parks called this morning wanting to know if Ст. Aldredge [the Ст. that went down to Voronezh when I first got in Moscow] had left a black "Grammar and Illustrations" book. I said that I'd look for one and if I found one I'd send it down. I don't think there is one around, but I'll look. I got up at 9:30am. That's when he called so I had to. He's in Nizhny [Novgorod] and he had me call him back because his phone really sucks there for some reason.
[Post journal chat - It was pretty weird to hear from Ст. Parks again. It was out of nowhere. I never did find that book in that apartment, but later in my mission I did get my hands on one, and I kept it.
Nizhny Novgorod (Нижный Новгород) means "Lower New City." One of the first big cities of the Rus was called Novgorod or new city, and this one is lower/further south than the original. At least it's not called New New City. Who knows where it would stop then?]
Showing posts with label Elder Parks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elder Parks. Show all posts
11/2/10
October 2, 1996 - Saturday
Today has been awesome. Ct Parks and I finally sat down and talked about some of the problems we were having. I feel awesome. Then I finished writing more notes and I gave them to Sister Heaton so that she could write them. Brother Feldman, a sub, will write them in his handwriting to confuse everyone. I hope that Ct Parks doesn't catch on because he was waiting for me to finish [the interview].
[Post journal chat - just mentioning the sub triggered a memory and I wasn't sure that I had put it down in here. One time we were out doing a lesson on the stairs. Calling on the phone was mentioned and B Wolsey was demonstrating a how a phone call would go & one of us missionaries was practicing with him. Another teacher was passing and said that wasn't right. As the pair started again to do a phone call - the other teacher imitated a crackling phone line - and then in an old babushka's voice, in Russian, he started to try to break into the conversation..."Natalya - is that you...who is on here..get off the line" and we all started laughing.
It was a funny anecdote, but I didn't really understand it fully until I was in my 2nd apartment. Much of what we learned in the MTC didn't make sense out in the field. But some did...our line was crossed with someone else's, probably our neighbors, and only one of us could be on it at a time. Sometimes the phone calls went exactly like it had in the MTC. It only happened once in a while, but by the time my 6 months was up it got a little tiring. Once we really needed to call and we had to make annoying noises until they hung up and we could use the phone.
[Post journal chat - just mentioning the sub triggered a memory and I wasn't sure that I had put it down in here. One time we were out doing a lesson on the stairs. Calling on the phone was mentioned and B Wolsey was demonstrating a how a phone call would go & one of us missionaries was practicing with him. Another teacher was passing and said that wasn't right. As the pair started again to do a phone call - the other teacher imitated a crackling phone line - and then in an old babushka's voice, in Russian, he started to try to break into the conversation..."Natalya - is that you...who is on here..get off the line" and we all started laughing.
It was a funny anecdote, but I didn't really understand it fully until I was in my 2nd apartment. Much of what we learned in the MTC didn't make sense out in the field. But some did...our line was crossed with someone else's, probably our neighbors, and only one of us could be on it at a time. Sometimes the phone calls went exactly like it had in the MTC. It only happened once in a while, but by the time my 6 months was up it got a little tiring. Once we really needed to call and we had to make annoying noises until they hung up and we could use the phone.
10/31/10
October 31, 1996 - Thursday
It's Halloween. I assume I will receive a package today full of candy from Vernae. But then again she might be late. I felt good last night after we (Elder Parks & I) taught, but when we sat down and analyzed it, I just kept seeing things that I needed to work on. But to [myself] - I said this is what you did wrong.
It was really hard to hear her [the Russian speaking investigator at TRC]. She spoke fast and in a soft voice. On feedback she said that I was real sincere and Sister Heaton said she loved me. It was Брат Wolsey's wife. Elder Parks had good eye contact - is his feedback. I can't remember what else. I didn't mean to say that I did better than him, because I didn't. He kept good eye contact because he had it more or less memorized and didn't have to read like I did. I kind of froze up a little, when I taught and I couldn't understand her very good. But I was trying so hard to understand.
[Mid journal chat - 4 things.
1) A lot of Russian women talk softly like Брат Wolsey's wife. Many times I had to ask Russian women to repeat what they had said.
2) I did not have this problem with the Бабушкы (Babushkas). It's amazing, but there were very few middle age women. It was like there was a magical transformation when a woman hit 40 (looking 30) - boom - they were suddenly 70-year-old Бабушкы. Which meant that they brushed the dirt courtyard outside with twig brooms, wore handkerchiefs/babushkas on their heads, watched a lot of what was going on, and always told us to put a hat on etc.
3) I had/have a problem with Alpha females sometimes. There was a lady in my first branch that I couldn't understand - I ran into her again after I had been out about a year on my mission, and I was speaking pretty well - and she flustered me and it was like I had only been out only a month again - I couldn't understand what she was saying. When I asked her to repeat it - she asked "When I would learn to speak Russian?" Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!
4) - you know - I can't remember where I was going with this - so that's all.]
Dang it I feel like crap tonight and I don't know why. I don't want to talk about it with anyone else either. It might be that I didn't receive a package from anybody with Halloween candy in it. I also have a crush on Sister Heaton and I don't want too. It's not a crush I can do anything about until my mission is over, so I won't worry about that. But this Saturday she will interview me and I don't want to dump my problems on her. But I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to pray tonight. Maybe if you're good - I'll share what I [prayed].
As I prayed, I told the Lord that didn't feel good, and that I wanted to, and that I was promised when I was baptized that would have the Spirit if I was living righteously. I told the Lord ("told" isn't a good word, prayed and said) that I was trying my best to live good and I needed the Holy Ghost and I instantly felt better. night.
It was really hard to hear her [the Russian speaking investigator at TRC]. She spoke fast and in a soft voice. On feedback she said that I was real sincere and Sister Heaton said she loved me. It was Брат Wolsey's wife. Elder Parks had good eye contact - is his feedback. I can't remember what else. I didn't mean to say that I did better than him, because I didn't. He kept good eye contact because he had it more or less memorized and didn't have to read like I did. I kind of froze up a little, when I taught and I couldn't understand her very good. But I was trying so hard to understand.
[Mid journal chat - 4 things.
1) A lot of Russian women talk softly like Брат Wolsey's wife. Many times I had to ask Russian women to repeat what they had said.
2) I did not have this problem with the Бабушкы (Babushkas). It's amazing, but there were very few middle age women. It was like there was a magical transformation when a woman hit 40 (looking 30) - boom - they were suddenly 70-year-old Бабушкы. Which meant that they brushed the dirt courtyard outside with twig brooms, wore handkerchiefs/babushkas on their heads, watched a lot of what was going on, and always told us to put a hat on etc.
3) I had/have a problem with Alpha females sometimes. There was a lady in my first branch that I couldn't understand - I ran into her again after I had been out about a year on my mission, and I was speaking pretty well - and she flustered me and it was like I had only been out only a month again - I couldn't understand what she was saying. When I asked her to repeat it - she asked "When I would learn to speak Russian?" Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!
4) - you know - I can't remember where I was going with this - so that's all.]
Dang it I feel like crap tonight and I don't know why. I don't want to talk about it with anyone else either. It might be that I didn't receive a package from anybody with Halloween candy in it. I also have a crush on Sister Heaton and I don't want too. It's not a crush I can do anything about until my mission is over, so I won't worry about that. But this Saturday she will interview me and I don't want to dump my problems on her. But I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to pray tonight. Maybe if you're good - I'll share what I [prayed].
As I prayed, I told the Lord that didn't feel good, and that I wanted to, and that I was promised when I was baptized that would have the Spirit if I was living righteously. I told the Lord ("told" isn't a good word, prayed and said) that I was trying my best to live good and I needed the Holy Ghost and I instantly felt better. night.
10/28/10
October 28, 1996 - Monday
By the way - Saturday night I was comforted. I don't know if I like having Ст. Beckstrand in my room, but it looks like I'm stuck with him. It isn't so bad, but you know I don't like change. I had to give up some space and I know I'm being selfish, but hey - I'll get over it.
I'm going to fast today because I want to feel the Spirit. I don't like the way that I feel. I think anytime that I can't pray sincerely I'll threaten myself with fasting. At least maybe I'll lose some weight before I leave. Only two more weeks wow. It seems weird. When the group leaves tomorrow we'll be the oldest group of Ruskies left. Wow. Last Friday we went to the temple and Sister Habel & Sister Pipken were there. I didn't stand by either of them on purpose, because that would be hard to concentrate. They are companions and are both very beautiful. But I shouldn't look.
It's about 9:46pm and earlier today, right after supper, we all received notes that I had written. (I talked about them on 10-19-96. ) It felt so good to hear people talk about who they thought it was and how it made them feel. It felt really good.
Okay - we had TRC again tonight and all day I had had negative feelings for Ст. Parks. So when we went into the teaching I don't think we taught with the Spirit as strongly as we could have. I didn't really think we accomplished our goal and I was mad at myself and at Ст. Parks etc. Not feeling at all like I had [when I did TRC] with Sister Jensen. But when we got back to the dorm Ст. Beckstrand sensed I had a concern and basically testified that I did good, got me in a better mood. It felt good. I love everyone and Ст. Parks included. I love you. В имя Иисуса Христа. [In the name of Jesus Christ]
I'm going to fast today because I want to feel the Spirit. I don't like the way that I feel. I think anytime that I can't pray sincerely I'll threaten myself with fasting. At least maybe I'll lose some weight before I leave. Only two more weeks wow. It seems weird. When the group leaves tomorrow we'll be the oldest group of Ruskies left. Wow. Last Friday we went to the temple and Sister Habel & Sister Pipken were there. I didn't stand by either of them on purpose, because that would be hard to concentrate. They are companions and are both very beautiful. But I shouldn't look.
It's about 9:46pm and earlier today, right after supper, we all received notes that I had written. (I talked about them on 10-19-96. ) It felt so good to hear people talk about who they thought it was and how it made them feel. It felt really good.
Okay - we had TRC again tonight and all day I had had negative feelings for Ст. Parks. So when we went into the teaching I don't think we taught with the Spirit as strongly as we could have. I didn't really think we accomplished our goal and I was mad at myself and at Ст. Parks etc. Not feeling at all like I had [when I did TRC] with Sister Jensen. But when we got back to the dorm Ст. Beckstrand sensed I had a concern and basically testified that I did good, got me in a better mood. It felt good. I love everyone and Ст. Parks included. I love you. В имя Иисуса Христа. [In the name of Jesus Christ]
10/27/10
October 27, 1996 - Sunday
Today we are having a weird change. One of the companionships is changing - they are going to split up. Ст. Beckstrand is now companions with Ст. Kindred, and Ст. Parks and I are now companions. [Ст. Pope went into a threesome with another companionship, but I don't remember who.]
Here's the thought for the day...
"Perhaps we stray from the path which leads to peace and find it necessary to pause, to ponder, and to reflect on the teachings of the Prince of Peace and determine to incorporate them in our thoughts and actions and to live a higher law, walk a more elevated road, and be a better disciple of Christ." - Thomas S. Monson [Ensign » 1994 » May »The Path to Peace - 3rd Paragraph]
Here's the thought for the day...
"Perhaps we stray from the path which leads to peace and find it necessary to pause, to ponder, and to reflect on the teachings of the Prince of Peace and determine to incorporate them in our thoughts and actions and to live a higher law, walk a more elevated road, and be a better disciple of Christ." - Thomas S. Monson [Ensign » 1994 » May »The Path to Peace - 3rd Paragraph]
10/24/10
October 24, 1996 - Thursday
Well tonight has been rather peculiar. One of the Elders in one of the new districts is having a hard time so Ст. Kindred came in here and dressed really fast and then we had a group hug and I told them that I know God loves them. Ст. Kindred was crying and wanted the Spirit so bad. He is so humble. He has the longest prayers I have ever heard.
[I don't think that I explained earlier, but Ст. Kindred was now an AP in our building/ward - so he would take the newbies on a tour every Wed. and visit the other districts etc. to see how everyone was doing. Whenever there was a problem - he was the go-to guy.]
Ст. Parks and I talked quite a bit tonight. I felt a little like I am being left out of the companionship but I didn't know exactly why or what they could do. I feel weird tonight. I bore my testimony to one of the Portugal Elders. They are two or three weeks old - the English speaking a week or two old.
Well it's about 5 after 11 so I'd better get to bed. I'd better pray good tonight to feel better. That always helps.
[Post jounal chat - I've noticed for the past 3 entries that the way I write in English is getting confused and different. I see little bits of Russian grammar sneaking in to my English. Interesting huh?]
[I don't think that I explained earlier, but Ст. Kindred was now an AP in our building/ward - so he would take the newbies on a tour every Wed. and visit the other districts etc. to see how everyone was doing. Whenever there was a problem - he was the go-to guy.]
Ст. Parks and I talked quite a bit tonight. I felt a little like I am being left out of the companionship but I didn't know exactly why or what they could do. I feel weird tonight. I bore my testimony to one of the Portugal Elders. They are two or three weeks old - the English speaking a week or two old.
Well it's about 5 after 11 so I'd better get to bed. I'd better pray good tonight to feel better. That always helps.
[Post jounal chat - I've noticed for the past 3 entries that the way I write in English is getting confused and different. I see little bits of Russian grammar sneaking in to my English. Interesting huh?]
10/21/10
October 21, 1996 - Monday
It's morning wow. I've started taking my showers at night but then I don't think I need to get up earlier than six so it usually like 6:30 or so before I start my BOM read. So I have to continue getting up at 5:45 AM. But I switched around in bed so that the light from under the door won't keep me up.
Now it's after lunch. In my interview we talked about how to love everybody. I am just getting negative thoughts about everybody and negative feelings. I fasted yesterday and I felt good throughout the day except a little after dinner when I broke my fast. Maybe it was because I wasn't fasting very much. Is the only way I am going to feel good is by starving myself? At least I'd look better.
Yesterday I wrote little notes for everyone and now I have to write them so that someone else can read it. I wonder if there is something in my past that I haven't repented of. I'm sure there isn't because I would know. The Spirit would tell me.
Yesterday we had a talk and the guy had several good suggestions. One was to compliment people more often. It worked. I just complimented Ст. Parks & I feel better. Bye for now - bye
[Okay embarrassing part again. It seems that I had a little crush on Sister Heaton]
Okay after class, end of night, I feel great again. It's awesome here. I think Sis Heaton just brings the spirit out in us, especially me. I testified on the way home from class and I feel radical [that means cool to all you youngins]. Just glowing. Plus I gave my letters to Sis. Heaton so she could write them up & send them to us. Well it's time to go to bed. I'll probably write a short something after praying. night.
In my prayers I just talked about this love to me & I hope I can show others His love & my love & how important His love was to me. night
Now it's after lunch. In my interview we talked about how to love everybody. I am just getting negative thoughts about everybody and negative feelings. I fasted yesterday and I felt good throughout the day except a little after dinner when I broke my fast. Maybe it was because I wasn't fasting very much. Is the only way I am going to feel good is by starving myself? At least I'd look better.
Yesterday I wrote little notes for everyone and now I have to write them so that someone else can read it. I wonder if there is something in my past that I haven't repented of. I'm sure there isn't because I would know. The Spirit would tell me.
Yesterday we had a talk and the guy had several good suggestions. One was to compliment people more often. It worked. I just complimented Ст. Parks & I feel better. Bye for now - bye
[Okay embarrassing part again. It seems that I had a little crush on Sister Heaton]
Okay after class, end of night, I feel great again. It's awesome here. I think Sis Heaton just brings the spirit out in us, especially me. I testified on the way home from class and I feel radical [that means cool to all you youngins]. Just glowing. Plus I gave my letters to Sis. Heaton so she could write them up & send them to us. Well it's time to go to bed. I'll probably write a short something after praying. night.
In my prayers I just talked about this love to me & I hope I can show others His love & my love & how important His love was to me. night
10/12/10
October 12, 1996 - Saturday
Well guess what!? When I was home Mike and Lynette came up and earlier my dad told me that they were engaged. To be married on the 19th. Well that's next Saturday. Wow huh? It was weird I did not realize it when I was talking to them (my mom and dad.)
[WARNING - In this next paragraph I sound pretty dang naive - It's embarassing. Read at your own Peril]
It feels good to be back in the swing of things, but I know it will feel really good when I get off my mission. You know what...that's not a good thing to say. Because, then it will be, when I get married I'll feel really good and it'll never stop.
I feel really good right now. I asked Ст. [short for Старейшина or Elder] Parks & Ст. Kindred to give me a blessing and they did. Ст. Parks annointed and Ст. Kindred blessed. I blessed Ст. Parks earlier in the month & I didn't do a very good job. I don't know why. I had only done one before that. Ст. Kindred was really good. I feel lots better. I know he is close to the Spirit. That Elder has the longest prayers I have ever seen. So does Ст. Parks. Sometimes I have problems realizing when I have received answers. But I know I have. Well it's time for bed goodnight.
[WARNING - In this next paragraph I sound pretty dang naive - It's embarassing. Read at your own Peril]
It feels good to be back in the swing of things, but I know it will feel really good when I get off my mission. You know what...that's not a good thing to say. Because, then it will be, when I get married I'll feel really good and it'll never stop.
I feel really good right now. I asked Ст. [short for Старейшина or Elder] Parks & Ст. Kindred to give me a blessing and they did. Ст. Parks annointed and Ст. Kindred blessed. I blessed Ст. Parks earlier in the month & I didn't do a very good job. I don't know why. I had only done one before that. Ст. Kindred was really good. I feel lots better. I know he is close to the Spirit. That Elder has the longest prayers I have ever seen. So does Ст. Parks. Sometimes I have problems realizing when I have received answers. But I know I have. Well it's time for bed goodnight.
10/6/10
October 2, 1996 - Wednesday
Today, like usual, I got up at 6:46am and took a shower. Then I made up Elder Parks' bed while he was taking a shower. It made me feel good. And I hope it makes me love him more. I can feel it starting to work.
I have memorized another half of a paragraph from the Ds [Discussions written in Russian] - it's hard though. We never have enough time. Well - by for now.
It's just after supper. Michelle Merithew wrote. Yahoo. Whew. I just [got] back from the evening class. I feel like I just suck. I'm feeling pretty bad. I feel like Moses. Earlier today I was feeling really good and in the last class I felt the Spirit so strongly. But afterwards I really didn't. It's like the Spirit left me when I was trying to teach the 1st principle of the 2nd Discussion. I floundered and really disliked it. Intensely. I went after Elder Parks and I felt like he did so good and I compared myself to him and the Spirit departed.
So what I learned from today is not to be contentious. And not to compare myself to other people. But that is really hard to do [or not to do - as the case may be]. I don't understand why we can't have the Spirit with us always. Is it because we are not suppose to or is it because I have done something wrong?
I'm feeling better now. It's like I just have to get it off of my chest or Satan can only tempt or discourage me for so long and that's all? Well it's bedtime. night
I have memorized another half of a paragraph from the Ds [Discussions written in Russian] - it's hard though. We never have enough time. Well - by for now.
It's just after supper. Michelle Merithew wrote. Yahoo. Whew. I just [got] back from the evening class. I feel like I just suck. I'm feeling pretty bad. I feel like Moses. Earlier today I was feeling really good and in the last class I felt the Spirit so strongly. But afterwards I really didn't. It's like the Spirit left me when I was trying to teach the 1st principle of the 2nd Discussion. I floundered and really disliked it. Intensely. I went after Elder Parks and I felt like he did so good and I compared myself to him and the Spirit departed.
So what I learned from today is not to be contentious. And not to compare myself to other people. But that is really hard to do [or not to do - as the case may be]. I don't understand why we can't have the Spirit with us always. Is it because we are not suppose to or is it because I have done something wrong?
I'm feeling better now. It's like I just have to get it off of my chest or Satan can only tempt or discourage me for so long and that's all? Well it's bedtime. night
October 1, 1996 - Tuesday
I was opening my journal and read my name...Elder Walter Dale Herrick. I got this from Jerylynn Judkins [an old girlfriend]. And at the time it was still about 2 years until I would go on my mission. It was at the time where I should have been leaving, because I was 19. I never thought that I would be worthy enough. She had faith in me though and has always talked to me and encouraged me, along with her family. I'm very thankful that I am able to know her and many wonderful friends and girls like her.
It's now about 9:47 pm. We had a pretty chock full day. I made a goal to memorize a principle a day from the Russian discussion. Well I did the first paragraph. It was frustrating. It's really hard because I just have to go on sounds instead of words. Tomorrow I will work harder so I can accomplish more toward my goal.
I just read my patriarchal blessing. It has such a great power to uplift me and make me see the big picture. One verse that stuck our was talking about Satan - "tell Satan to leave you alone...His time is short and you have the eternities." the Spirit bears witness that, that is true every single time I think about that. Another verse that stands out is talking about missionary work. It says "love your companions and those who you serve." Boy do I need to work on that.
I'm starting to get along better with Elder Parks. I know that I still need to work but I don't feel negative of him anymore. I miss my life in the outside world. But I love being here. I'm a little scared that I won't be able to learn the language. Gilbert wrote me, through Nick, and said that if I memorized a principle a day - I would be able to have all the discussions memorized by the time I got out of here. So that is my new goal. 1 principle a day for a week. Then I'll reevaluate and see it need to improve myself. Set a higher or lower goal. At least this way I am trying really hard. Well goodnight. I'll be praying for you walt!
It's now about 9:47 pm. We had a pretty chock full day. I made a goal to memorize a principle a day from the Russian discussion. Well I did the first paragraph. It was frustrating. It's really hard because I just have to go on sounds instead of words. Tomorrow I will work harder so I can accomplish more toward my goal.
I just read my patriarchal blessing. It has such a great power to uplift me and make me see the big picture. One verse that stuck our was talking about Satan - "tell Satan to leave you alone...His time is short and you have the eternities." the Spirit bears witness that, that is true every single time I think about that. Another verse that stands out is talking about missionary work. It says "love your companions and those who you serve." Boy do I need to work on that.
I'm starting to get along better with Elder Parks. I know that I still need to work but I don't feel negative of him anymore. I miss my life in the outside world. But I love being here. I'm a little scared that I won't be able to learn the language. Gilbert wrote me, through Nick, and said that if I memorized a principle a day - I would be able to have all the discussions memorized by the time I got out of here. So that is my new goal. 1 principle a day for a week. Then I'll reevaluate and see it need to improve myself. Set a higher or lower goal. At least this way I am trying really hard. Well goodnight. I'll be praying for you walt!
September 30, 1996 - Monday
Well I'm finally getting over my cold...sort of. I have a headache today but it will go away. And my throat doesn't hurt as bad. I tried to write last night but I ran out of time. I know my mind should be centered on my mission. But I keep thinking about other things. Like will Tammy [Krajnik] or Melissa [Gonzales] or Michelle [Merithew] ever write me? It seems like they won't. Just my luck huh? Oh well - I also keep thinking about writing Sarah and sending her a Book of Mormon with my testimony. I should have not just forgotten her before I left. I wish I would've known how to share and invite her to do this before I left. Then I would have known how to share my feelings with her...to at least give her the chance to feel the love I have felt. Well I guess I had better go. I'll write how my day went later.
Today we went to go and play sand volleyball. Много Хороши [the 1st word - Mnoga - means a lot of - I was trying to say very good, but a lot of good doesn't really make sense. What I should have said was Очен Хорошо - or very good] Actually I didn't play.
Today in our evening class we share how to give positive feedback and how to not criticize. Last Sunday we had a companionship inventory and I told Elder Parks that I didn't like it when he corrected every little thing that I do. So today I apologized. It's really hard though. It makes me so mad and I don't want to even know how to speak the language. It makes me so I don't want to speak it at all. But I got over it Saturday. So I just keep telling myself that I need more patience.
I'll let it go another week and then I will bring it up. Because I could have a complete reversal in a week or two. So if it is taking the Spirit away from me, then I will bring it up. I also need to work on pride. But tonight we talked about Faith. It was awesome and then we talked about this and then Elder Parks gave the first discussion and he asked me a question and when I answered - he immediately built on common beliefs and testified at the same time about resurrection. Boom I felt the Spirit so strong. And then we talked about it. I've felt the Spirit so strong today. But I've also felt so discouraged because of the way I've felt about Elder Parks.
So that is something that I definitely have to work on. I'm very thankful though that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with the Spirit today. I hope I can have it with me in the night and tomorrow.
Today we went to go and play sand volleyball. Много Хороши [the 1st word - Mnoga - means a lot of - I was trying to say very good, but a lot of good doesn't really make sense. What I should have said was Очен Хорошо - or very good] Actually I didn't play.
Today in our evening class we share how to give positive feedback and how to not criticize. Last Sunday we had a companionship inventory and I told Elder Parks that I didn't like it when he corrected every little thing that I do. So today I apologized. It's really hard though. It makes me so mad and I don't want to even know how to speak the language. It makes me so I don't want to speak it at all. But I got over it Saturday. So I just keep telling myself that I need more patience.
I'll let it go another week and then I will bring it up. Because I could have a complete reversal in a week or two. So if it is taking the Spirit away from me, then I will bring it up. I also need to work on pride. But tonight we talked about Faith. It was awesome and then we talked about this and then Elder Parks gave the first discussion and he asked me a question and when I answered - he immediately built on common beliefs and testified at the same time about resurrection. Boom I felt the Spirit so strong. And then we talked about it. I've felt the Spirit so strong today. But I've also felt so discouraged because of the way I've felt about Elder Parks.
So that is something that I definitely have to work on. I'm very thankful though that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with the Spirit today. I hope I can have it with me in the night and tomorrow.
10/5/10
September 28, 1996 - Saturday
I need to write in my journal all the time, not every other day. Well today I felt in a bad mood still, but after lunch I was fine. I had a meeting with Брат [Brother] Sycamore and told him I was having a little trouble with Elder Parks correcting me all the time and he said that he would say something to the class. So my problems are solved [ha, ha, ha - all my problems are all solved - ha, ha, ha - except for the rest of my life]
9/28/10
September 20, 1996 - Friday
Wow what a difference a good night's sleep and a preperation day make. I sat in the bathroom and read 1 Nephi 1:1 about good parents. I tried to write in my other journal [my journal for scripture study] about how bad my parents were. Or the fact I could've been raised better. But it was a lie and the spirit told me so. It led me to write that I was here and I wouldnt've [is that even a word] been here with any other parents. I've been put into a family that was right for me. The Lord knows me and what I needed to have to stay active in His Church. And the fact that I've been striving to follow my Savior for thousands of years before this one. So why give up now.
I really needed that testimony that I was suppose to be here. Not only that but the fact that it brought the Spirit into my heart. I bore my testimony/shared the experience with Elder Parks and then the Spirit told me to share with Elder Kindred the spirit that he brings. The example that he is as a District Leader to me. He prays so long at night. It really makes me strive to be more humble, more communicative to my Heavenly Father. Elder Kindred said he was glad that I waited to go on [my mission - when he was on] his mission. I am glad I'm here. In the name of Jesus Christ amen. в имя Иисуса Христа - Амин.
I really needed that testimony that I was suppose to be here. Not only that but the fact that it brought the Spirit into my heart. I bore my testimony/shared the experience with Elder Parks and then the Spirit told me to share with Elder Kindred the spirit that he brings. The example that he is as a District Leader to me. He prays so long at night. It really makes me strive to be more humble, more communicative to my Heavenly Father. Elder Kindred said he was glad that I waited to go on [my mission - when he was on] his mission. I am glad I'm here. In the name of Jesus Christ amen. в имя Иисуса Христа - Амин.
9/12/10
September 11, 1996 - Wednesday
Well I am in. The first day was awesome. I met my companions. I have two [companions]. Elder Kindred and Elder Parks. There is my orange dork dot. It's called that for who knows reason. Well I feel the spirit. It's calm and gentle and makes me feel like I can accomplish anything today. I know that what I am doing is the right thing. Mom cried a bit and so did dad. Well he was teary-eyed mostly. But I know I am supposed to be here.
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